To get to the Oasis Saloon in Sorrento, you get on State Road 46 and go forever, then go another ten minutes. It will be on your left. Watch out for bears along the way… and no, that isn’t a joke. Bears on the road are an actual hazard, one of many at the Oasis.
But, like in all things, with great risk comes great rewards. Any when I say rewards, I mean really good music and bare breasts. Lots of both.
After seeing Guardians of the Galaxy on Saturday night (yes, just go, it’s awesome), we headed off to Sorrento to see aliens of a different sort. The Oasis is in downtown Sorrento, which is kinda sorta in the middle of nowhere. You get a much better quality of music at the Oasis than you would otherwise expect because owner Chuck West is a huge supporter of live music and gives a lot of good local bands their first shot. A few good local bands evolve into great local bands, and they repay Chuck for his faith in them with their loyalty.
The Oasis is a dive, a honky-tonk, and a damn scary place if you don’t face it with the proper attitude and collection of personal weaponry. I’m not advocating firearms at a bar for goodness sake, but a taser, pepper spray or telescopic steel baton (conveniently, it collapses down to fit into your most fashionable handbag) might come in handy. But I digress.
The Oasis provides the PA for the bands, which doesn’t provide for the best sound quality in the world, but did I mention this is a bar in the middle of Sorrento? If you want perfect sound, grab your headphones. This isn’t about perfection, this is about a party.
Again, I digress. The drinks are cheap, the wait staff is hired mostly for their cup size (and they are impressive), and as I said, the music is awesome. The decor is… somewhat ecclectic. Yes, let’s go with ecclectic. There isn’t an inch of polished brass or lacquered wood to be seen. Can I have an amen? There is a stripper pole available for anyone who wants to partake. The dance area is right up close and personal with the band, and the smoke isn’t too overwhelming.
Side Note: I was there many months ago and a woman of a certain age was on the stripper pole, well, stripping. And no one was paying the least bit of attention. If this was me, I would cut myself. Get up on a stripper pole and start removing your clothing, and people continue to talk and order beers? Dear God, the humiliation.
And women show their breasts freely and frequently. I didn’t say the Oasis isn’t without risk. Close your eyes if tatas offend.
We danced our asses off Saturday night… everything from Elton John (don’t hate – he’s great) to Drowning Pool’s Let the Bodies Hit the Floor. I challenge you to find another bar where you can hear both of those artists back to back and have the dance floor stay packed. There is something special, and so quintessentially American, about slow dancing with a cute boy at a honky-tonk in the middle of nowhere. These are the kinds of memories that will make me smile when I’m eighty.
So, get your honky-tonk butt up to the Oasis, make some memories that will make your grandchildren blush when you tell them about how cool you used to be, and dance with a cute boy or two, You’ll regret it in the most wonderful of ways.
Rock on, loves.
